5 days from now
It would be my mom’s birthday.
I don’t know how old she would have been turning.
I don’t know if that makes me a bad daughter.
I don’t remember how old she was when she died.
It was 6 years ago
I think that would make her over 60 by now.
Sometimes I need her
To tell me I’m not a weird freak with lack of social comprehension.
To remind me
That I am beautiful
Just because I am me
And that is reason enough.
I wish I could hear her speak
My memory of her voice
The sound of her laugh.
I still feel like a child
Unable to constrain emotion in adult like fashion
I still want to say its not fair
Because it isn’t.
But I can’t do anything about it except cry and cry.
And wish that she didn’t have to die.