Burnt from walking across Haifa’s campus to Mount Carmel national park. It is interesting to be with people while feeling like you’re not with them at the same time. Conversation is still exhausting at this point and I’m wondering if I will ever feel natural here? If I will ever find someone who gets me?
Cats are everywhere on campus. Meowing through the night. They climb the brightly colored stone walls in search of food and pleasure. I climb in search of companionship and fresh air. Hebrew is everywhere and still I feel unable to grasp on to it.
The view is breathtaking. I woke up from my nap gasping for breath. The campus is on top of Mount Carmel and I am learning to live in a new altitude. I am also learning to live in alternative ways.
Everything is closed on Friday and Saturday. Some of us may venture out tonight in search of the warm beach and a hot falafel.
I don’t have hot water for my shower, but I have my own shower. My room is white walls with a bright orange curtain to pull over the window. The floor is cold cement, which will take me a while to get use to. I’ve tended towards staying busy in whatever ways possible in order to avoid coming back to a room that I don’t want to be home.
I had to buy myself toilet paper. I didn’t want to commit to toilet paper. To be honest, I wanted to walk right back out of that cold-cement-white-walled-room and go home.
But this has to be home for now.