Sometimes, I completely let myself down. It happens when my actions gallop into a stone wall and turn to reflect right back at me. Instead of forward strides, I recede and collapse onto the ground. I fall by my own decisions, and resist the hope of verbally undoing the mistakes I have committed.
In these moments of fragility and vulnerability, it is essential for me to acknowledge that there is still a whole earth full of life existing. The world is still turning, the rain outside still pouring, and the promise of sunshine to come has not changed. The offer still stands – will I choose to accept beautiful existence?
The challenge of acceptance is to embrace moments of selfishness, laziness, misguided judgements, and irresponsibility, while still striving to learn from these experiences. A definite problem will arise if I say to myself, “I messed up – that’s who I am and all that I ever will be.” I refuse to give up on myself like this. During those times of mistakes made, I want to challenge myself to say, “I messed up – but that does not mean I have completely failed and will only ever fail.”
My beauty will come through my practice of picking myself back up from the ground. I might let myself lay on the cool pavement for a few moments, noticing the way in which the earth cradles and supports me. But in time, and with the help of some deep breaths and encouragement from others, the will to stand will resurface. I will choose to be grateful for my fall because of how it reconnected me with the earth and humanity.
And then, with grace and beauty, I will pick myself up and continue to walk forward. All the while, reciting:
“May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease.
May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease.”